Start Walking Together

In one of our many conversations, which by the way I adore, you asked, "How do I take care of a woman?"  The feminist in me wanted to scream "There is no need, women can take care of themselves!" but the sensible woman in search of love connected with your concern.  This simple and otherwise unassuming question touched my heart and inspired me to write this open letter to you.  The question encapsulates the role that you wish to play in my life.  That of protector and provider.  A very masculine characteristic.  And I get that.  I will attempt to answer your question, the best way I know how.   I will try to paint you a landscape with gentle paths in the hopes that it may lead us into peaceful and loving destinations.  I chose to pour my heart out to you in words.  As we start walking together in this heartfelt journey.

I don't mind questions.  It shows that you are interested in knowing me.  I detest when people assume they know you without taking the time to get to know who you actually are.  In skipping the process of courting, the assessment made is based more on conclusions arrived with a past experience, rather than the person in front of you.  And that is not fair to anyone.  We should be seeking and looking forward to so many first encounters tailored specifically to us.

And with that in mind, I want you to know that I asked God for three specific attributes in my future husband:

1. That he be God fearing.  A God fearing man knows the meaning of true love.  God has specific instructions when it comes to how a man is to treat his mate.  He is to love, honor, respect and protect his wife.  I want all of those.

2. That he be kind.  Kindness involves so much more than just the act of being kind.  It involves patience and selflessness and devotion.

3. And that he be of a Generous Spirit.  Generous of his Time.  Generous with his Laughter and his Affection.

I believe that a man should be present.  Present in the moment, in mind and heart.  Available when I need to run something by him.  Not because I lack the skill to make a decision, but because I value his input.  Opinions are like little windows that allow a peek into the heart and speaks volumes about one's character.  Which in turn allows me to better assess intentions.

I believe women should express themselves freely and openly so that each partner understands what the other expects in a relationship.  Communication between the sexes is so important and smooths the way into a harmonious existence.   Men need to know that they are enough.  Women that they are safe.

As a general practice, include me in your everyday.  Make me feel that I am part of your world and your life.  Let me know that you are thinking of me, in little ways.  In subtle ways.  I, in turn, will do the same.  Perhaps you have come to the conclusion, as I have, that this walking together is a job for the both of us.  And in seeking to understand how to take care of your woman, you are assuring the happiness of the one who will gladly care for you.

For Dave