This article is very difficult for me to write for so many reasons. The main one is that no matter how careful I am, the subject is so controversial, that someone will be offended. And that is not my intent at all.
In order to accurately portray my personal views on this matter, I have to give you some personal information. When I met my children's father I was 16 years old. By 17, I was a wife and by 18 a mother. I laughed at hearing that my ex husband complained to our daughter that he couldn't figured out why I had changed towards the end of our marriage. Well, I believe it is called reaching adulthood.
In that phase of my life, it was more important to me to find a way out of my mother's house, where I felt unsafe, than to consider what future awaited me with this man.
For the most part it went well, according to my naive standards of marriage, until I realized 6 years and three kids later that he never honored his marriage vows. Even then, I subjected myself to 5 more years with him because I was reluctant to raise my children without a father. I am tempted to elaborate further but will show restraint. This rehashing of my past is not meant to be a mini autobiography nor a much delayed venting session. But rather a springboard unto the subjects which I would like to discuss that have such an impact on women's lives.
The the gist of this commentary is to give my insight as a woman, mother, wife and Christian in the discussion on the current controversies regarding women and our rights. The attacks are not just about Roe vs Wade. It is also about wage inequality, contraception, childcare and other issues which directly affects women in mostly detrimental ways. This is not meant to be presented as a scientific dissertation. But as the voice of a woman, on the other side of 50, who has lived through unique experiences and whose views might actually give someone, regardless of gender, a new and different perspective.
I am aware that some will take my writings out of context or perhaps simply refuse to validate my stance. In that case, I accept your right to your conviction and ask that you please grant me the same courtesy.
I want to make perfectly clear that I do not advocate abortion but I am Pro-Choice. The modern contested debate between Pro-Choice and Pro-Life is a movement decades in the making that has been developed by various entities which are not the focus of my declaration. My strong Christian beliefs prohibited me from ever considering such an option as abortion; regardless of my marital or economic situation at home.
Besides, Pro-Choice was never about abortion, the movement was hard fought to allow women the legal right of seeking medical attention; without putting their lives at risk. Some might be outraged at this point and scream in indignation, "life begins at conception." To that I reply, "what of an embryo which attaches to a fallopian tube?" In the U.S., ectopic pregnancies occur in 1% to 3% of all pregnancies. Although conception has certainly occurred, I doubt that anyone would disagree with the fact that the pregnancy is not viable. The embryo will not develop into a human, and if not removed surgically, is surely life threatening.
Some act in our country as if abortions only materialized when the ink on the Roe vs Wade ruling dried. Women have been victimized by patriarchal societies throughout centuries and denying women the right to their own autonomy is as old as Eve. Pro-Choice allows women the choice to decide whether or not to continue with her pregnancy; Pro-Life forces her to continue with the pregnancy regardless of the circumstances and disregarding her basic human rights.
Ladies and gentlemen, Roe vs Wade is about decriminalizing the act of seeking a specific medical procedure. A procedure which applies only to the female population. A procedure which countless women throughout known history have been willing to risk their lives to get. I believe life is precious and shouldn't be taken lightly. I doubt that any woman finds it easy to choose to have an abortion. And I am sure that it takes an emotional, spiritual and physical toll on them. But to "force any woman to carry to full term a pregnancy is equivalent to women being reduced to human incubators." Women as Incubators: How US Law Dehumanizes Pregnant Women, Linda C. Fentiman (https://www.vice.com/en/article/d3gpwz/women-incubators-us-law-criminalizes-pregnant-women).
May I make some suggestions that could in time help combat the epidemic of abortions in our country? Women are less likely to abort if they do not see pregnancy as another financial burden. Denying women certain protections such as paid maternity leave, is for example, one of the many financial setbacks women face in the workforce. Another is the lack of affordable childcare. The rise of violence to women also needs to be addressed. Women who are impregnated due to rape or other unwanted circumstances need counseling; not exposure to further trauma. Making mental health issues among childbearing women another national crisis. Tackling the recent negative wave of making contraceptives accessible and affordable is also advisable. It may greatly reduce unwanted pregnancies; which happens to be the main reason for abortions.
And let's not forget to mention the atrocious adoption process in our country. An option dangled to women for years as an alternative to an abortion. The average time for an adoption can be lengthy, leaving a child languishing in the child care system for several years. The system is broken. It discriminates against family compositions and is not affordable to those who would make perfectly good parents otherwise.
I do hope that we as a nation take a sincere look at ourselves and search for some compassionate solutions to at least those things we actually have control over. Lets mentor a young lady. Share the wisdom of your life journey. Talk to her about your faith and how it has helped you. Let her know she has options. And once she makes her decision, regardless of her choice, help her move forward. To do otherwise is inhumane and counterproductive to our nation.
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