I Hope You Went Home

Dedicated to:  Marisel Zayas

I hope you went home Brother

And left nothing undone

All quarrels and sorrows behind you

Gladness only those things sought.

I hope you went home Brother

And met with Mom and your Dad

Hey and even mine.

And Nano and Lillian 

and Victor please find.

I hope you went home Brother

And bathe in salvation’s light

And slowly remember how it felt

To breathe without bind.

I hope you went home Brother

And are patiently waiting for us, the rest

Your wait shall be peaceful

Not like the battle you met.

But do know big Brother

That a lesson you taught

Because in enduring such pain

a soldier was forged.

So don’t dilly daddle

In awe of the clouds

And enter sweet heaven

And receive your crown.

Edwin Zayas Rivera

04/05/1955 - 12/11/2020. RIP

Start Walking Together

In one of our many conversations, which by the way I adore, you asked, "How do I take care of a woman?"  The feminist in me wanted to scream "There is no need, women can take care of themselves!" but the sensible woman in search of love connected with your concern.  This simple and otherwise unassuming question touched my heart and inspired me to write this open letter to you.  The question encapsulates the role that you wish to play in my life.  That of protector and provider.  A very masculine characteristic.  And I get that.  I will attempt to answer your question, the best way I know how.   I will try to paint you a landscape with gentle paths in the hopes that it may lead us into peaceful and loving destinations.  I chose to pour my heart out to you in words.  As we start walking together in this heartfelt journey.

I don't mind questions.  It shows that you are interested in knowing me.  I detest when people assume they know you without taking the time to get to know who you actually are.  In skipping the process of courting, the assessment made is based more on conclusions arrived with a past experience, rather than the person in front of you.  And that is not fair to anyone.  We should be seeking and looking forward to so many first encounters tailored specifically to us.

And with that in mind, I want you to know that I asked God for three specific attributes in my future husband:

1. That he be God fearing.  A God fearing man knows the meaning of true love.  God has specific instructions when it comes to how a man is to treat his mate.  He is to love, honor, respect and protect his wife.  I want all of those.

2. That he be kind.  Kindness involves so much more than just the act of being kind.  It involves patience and selflessness and devotion.

3. And that he be of a Generous Spirit.  Generous of his Time.  Generous with his Laughter and his Affection.

I believe that a man should be present.  Present in the moment, in mind and heart.  Available when I need to run something by him.  Not because I lack the skill to make a decision, but because I value his input.  Opinions are like little windows that allow a peek into the heart and speaks volumes about one's character.  Which in turn allows me to better assess intentions.

I believe women should express themselves freely and openly so that each partner understands what the other expects in a relationship.  Communication between the sexes is so important and smooths the way into a harmonious existence.   Men need to know that they are enough.  Women that they are safe.

As a general practice, include me in your everyday.  Make me feel that I am part of your world and your life.  Let me know that you are thinking of me, in little ways.  In subtle ways.  I, in turn, will do the same.  Perhaps you have come to the conclusion, as I have, that this walking together is a job for the both of us.  And in seeking to understand how to take care of your woman, you are assuring the happiness of the one who will gladly care for you.

For Dave

The Empanada Club

So, I have become just a little bit famous in my corner of the world for making beef empanadas.  My friends love them.  Whether they are co-workers or regular everyday friends.  They love my empanadas.  Empanadas are dough discs filled with just about anything you want to put in them.  Beef, chicken or pork.  Heck, it doesn't have to be meat at all.  You can turn an empanada into a pastry by simply substituting your savory meats with guava and cream cheese.  Yum!!!   When ready,  place your filling in the middle, fold it, seal it and wala!!!   They can be deep fried, baked or utilize an air fryer.  You have something so delicious, yet so simple!!!  But don't tell anyone!!!  It's our little secret!!!

On Tuesday, I happen to mention to my small circle of dear girl friends that I was making empanadas the next day and that bit of information turned into an impromptu get together.  They came over, we joked and laughed.  There was wine and we let our hair down.  I love this particular group of women.  The youngest in her late 30's the oldest in her sixties, yet we all find common ground when we get together.  I don't know what it is and it really doesn't matter.  The only thing that does matter is that we enjoy and uplift each other.  There is respect and safety among us.  Respect for who we are and the validation of our feelings; no matter how mundane we might perceive our feelings to be.  Safety in knowing that what is discussed and shared will remain confidential; and more importantly not minimized or belittled.  That is so important in cultivating trust.

I made hummus, which was a big hit.  Spicy of course!!!  And a dilemma arose when the garbanzo beans had a tough outer shell which needed to be peeled.  The atmosphere was as if we were back to a time when women would divide the work and make great things happen, like sow a quilt or weave a rug.  Those were times when women gathered happily and bonded.  I told Nell that the outer shell was a called a cousin.  She thought that was actually a thing.  We busted out laughing when the gig was up and Sherry, mischievous Sherry, started calling the garbanzo shells primos (Spanish for cousin)!!!  You just had to be there!!! 

Later, much later, Erica showed up and simply fell in love with Nico.  Oh, wait, I didn't tell you about Nico.  Well, earlier in the day, I was on my way to a doctors' appointment and was stopped at a red light and this itty bitty white fluff of a dog was dodging under the cars in front of me.  Fortunately, I had not had time to eat my breakfast that morning so I took it with me.  Well, Nico ended up eating my breakfast.  That was what I used to entice him to come to me and eventually into the car.  I am now the proud owner of an unknown breed of an itty bitty white fluff of a dog named Nico!!  Now, back to Erica, she fell in love with my doggie.   She calls him, her doggie.  It's so cute really.  I have a feeling Nico has three instant aunties on duty.

Some how while stuffing ourselves with empanadas and the chatter and the laughter and the dog running around; we decided to call ourselves The Empanada Club.  I was inspired to put to ink our adventures and to officially inform the world that there is such a thing as a sisterhood, women who share no other bond but the appreciation of joyful moments spent in each other's company and that, ladies and gentlemen, is more than enough for us.  Well done empanaditas.  Well done.

Check Mate

I understand giving God His due 
and putting Him first, in all that you do.
And Mama can not be forgotten,
I would never dream of demanding for me,
your precious time with her.

Brothers and cousins, have always been there.
My entrance into your picture has only seconds,
in the gran scheme, if measured.
Understandably, I patiently wait, to see if you dare.
And conclude, I am last in your pile full of cares.

You worry and fret and live in the past.
Claiming not to have felt God in a while.
Not once giving value to the blessings before you.
While you move me further down
on your list of insignificance.
The familiarity of dread seeping into my soul
is my trumpet and wake up call.

Take a deep breath.
You over played your hand.
God got this.

The Making of Doña Gladys

Some might wonder why I chose the title of this blog, and perhaps concluded, erroneously, that it is some adulation of humble me.  But no, it has more to do with the title Don than with me, I promise.  Stick around and I will be happy to indulge your curiosity.  

With the invention of film in 1890 by Thomas Edison and television in 1927 by Philo Taylor Fansworth; our American culture as been bombarded with cinema.  For some of us it has been a window into how other people behave and solve their problems.  It would not surprise me at all if in hearing the term Don the first inclination for most of us is to think of Don Corlene of The Godfather; or Don Quixote de la Mancha of literary fame.  But no, my pretties, Don has a rich history that resounds in the medieval halls of Spain and her Mediterranean contemporaries.

Originally, the title Don was reserved only for God, Jesus Christ and the saints.  Later, the Spanish medieval monarchy applied it to kings,  high nobles and archbishops.   Dueño or in the feminine Dueña has Latin origins, from the word "dominus" meaning "Lord of the house."  Which is why if you have had the joy of watching one our "Novelas" (Soap Operas) on TeleMundo (now, now, there is no shame, we know Americans are hooked on them too), you will notice that the stern. middle aged, handsome man who is revered by all in the ranch is addressed as "Don Emilio" or "Don Juan."  That reverence comes from the fact that he is a Landowner, a "jefe" (boss), and therefore, a decorum of respect is strictly followed.

Presently, in Spain, for example, the use has been gradually limited to writings, teachers and catholic priests.  Don is more commonly used in the south of Italy and Latin America.   Latin America is comprised of many uniquely and diverse countries.  In some areas, Don is used for someone that has gain respect throughout their community.  In others, only for those who have reached an advanced age.   In a different aspect, "The treatment of Don or Doña is used for persons of Hispanic heritage, either by birth or marriage."*  Meaning, when a woman marries she can gain or lose the use of her title.   Also, Don is more commonly used in Hispanic regions when a person reaches legal age or is married.  And in differentiating a person in a higher position in the workplace.

I started this blog believing that the term Don or Doña was strictly used as a connotation to being a landowner.  An easily arrived conclusion since dueño in Spanish means owner.  But in researching the term, I found that in the 1600's it was also used for those who achieved a great feat,  or were counts or countesses,  or were bishops or cardinals,  or of military rank; and later evolved it's usage to those whom had children, or got a diploma, or reached an advanced age.  My telenovela notion of being a Doña is shattered.  Because according to it's discovered uses, I have been Doña Gladys for quite sometime now. Thanks TeleMundo!!!!  


 *Wikipedia - Don (tratamiento) {Spanish} Last edited August 2, 2019.

So Grateful Indeed

I went and bought a house.

Believe me I am no Crouse .

So I put in the paper

and wrote out the letter.

And jolly was I with no spouse.

I emailed my friends

and gave them the news

and told them a Garden

I wanted to harvest.

So happy were they

To check out the place

That Connexion was called post haste.

From my Little Brother so dear and so kind.

A Lawnmower.  To keep my Backyard in line.

So grateful indeed.

One friend brought a pottery of grey.

So pretty and fair.

All the way from St. Augustine.

So grateful indeed.

From another friend I got a beautiful

handmade herb box.  And green pepper plant.

She is so special.  She knows who she is.

So grateful indeed.

A sweet friend gave me a presentation.

Rice, so that I never go hungry.

Wine, so that I will always be happy.

And money, so that it will abound.

So grateful indeed.

My Sister has a knack for knitting.

And knitting she did do.

For in the mail, I found box.

A set of knitted covers for my

down stairs loo.

So grateful indeed.

And Soil, so much Soil, that I will wallow 

in Dirt for a while.

Thank you Dear Sir and your Adorable Wife.

So grateful indeed.

My Eldest Brother endeared me with a 

Bush.  Which is planted in the front yard.

With the promise of standing guard.

So grateful indeed.

From Lowe's I got a rake, a water hose 

and a plant bracket.

That plant bracket holds a beautiful

angelic sounding chime in the back yard.

Two lovely Ladies made this happen.

So grateful indeed.

To Target I ran and bought a Hair Dryer.

What would I do with that in a Garden?

Gardening is hard work.  Eventually grooming. 

So grateful indeed.

My crew of three from STA.

Began what has turned out to be 

the landscaping to the entrance.

With plants from their own garden

and tools to tender them with.

So grateful indeed.

A sign that says "Friends Gather Here"

It's both beautiful and telling.

Along with Mint and Aloe Vera.

And pots of all sizes.

So grateful indeed.

Karaoke mischief filled the air.

And Augi ran around happily

Being pampered by all

So grateful indeed.

Another decided to take me shopping.

A beautiful metal side table I did get.

Along with a wine holder for six bottles

Merlot would be a sure bet.

And baskets.  I love baskets!!!

So grateful indeed.

And just when I thought that my party was

complete, a beautiful couple shows up with a 

latter of all things!!!  I wonder how they knew? :)

So grateful indeed.

I truly feel very blessed to have you all for family and friends.  What I am most grateful for is that on that Saturday, this structure, which started out as house, with the laughter and the joy, became a home.

Thank you.

Why do Americans celebrate Cinco de Mayo?

According to a new poll conducted by OnePoll on behalf of Avocados From Mexico of 2,000 Americans, only 22 percent of respondents knew the meaning behind Cinco de Mayo.  Yet, one in four Americans plan to enjoy the festivities.

Cinco de Mayo translates from Spanish into the Fifth of May.  It is a celebration to commemorate the victory of the Mexican Army over the French Empire at the Battle of Puebla, during the French-Mexican War, May 5, 1862; under the leadership of General Ignacio Zaragoza.  Puebla was a small humble town of mostly indigenous people.  Cinco de Mayo is not the day Mexico won their independence from Spanish rule as it is most commonly thought.  Mexico's Independence Day is celebrated September, 16.

Actually, Mexico had won it's independence fifty years prior to the Battle of Puebla.  The events that lead up to this new conflict in that part of the world was Mexico's President Benito Juárez declaration that Mexico was too poor to pay it's debts to foreign nations.  Prompting France to invade Mexico and making it a French territory.  But when french troops approached Puebla on May 5,  1862; a ragtag band of men, who until then knew very little of war and were out numbered 2 to 1, where able to keep the enemy at bay.

The Battle of Puebla, did not stop the French from taking Mexico City, the capital.  And it was with the United States' help that Mexico was able to finally defeat the French and restore Juárez back to power.  But it was that battle, on Cinco de Mayo, that became the symbol and pride of Mexico's resistance and ingenuity in the face of such great odds.  It also solidified our relations with our southern neighbor.

The spirit of Cinco de Mayo had quickly spread to the United States and soldiers of Mexican heritage used the day as inspiration for the Union struggle in the Civil War.  Americans in the mist of civil war were inspired by the Mexican victory and began celebrating the day with parades, dances, speeches, banquets and bull fights.

Today Cinco de Mayo is a bigger holiday in the U.S. than in Mexico, were it is mostly celebrated in the State of Puebla.  So when you raise your glass on Cinco de Mayo, take an extra moment to honor the surprisingly American history behind this Mexican holiday.

Used an article written by SWNS*.  Read more here NEW YORK POST
*SWNS, South West News Service

Viewed Video on the subject on History Channel**
**History Channel: On this day.