Listen to Your Cat!

When I met my significant other, Scott (I can't bring myself to say "boyfriend" since we are both almost middle aged),  I was brought into the fascinating feline world.  Maverick is beautiful smokey gray, 10 year old,  mild mannered male Tabby.

Don't get me wrong, he has his moments.  Like when we introduced him to our Maltese/Terrier mixed dog Sparky.  He is not acclimating well and refuses to play nice.  Or when he does not wish to be held.  Good luck with trying to keep him in your arms!  But for better or worst, we are a family and somehow we will all get along, eventually.

Maverick is quite a character.  Once in a while he remembers that he loves something else other than his catnip and climbs into bed with us.  Normally he is quite a loner, preferring to spend most of his day sitting by a window watching the day go by, this was part of the reason we decided to get a second pet.  One who would interact more with me during the day.

Oddly enough on several occasions when Scott and I have gone to sleep, not entirely happy with one another, Maverick jumps on the bed in the middle of the night and wakes us up by bumping our heads with his, and caressing our faces.  He especially likes it when his daddy has a little stubble on his face.  I have come to the conclusion that he wakes us up, so that we can make up.  It's totally within my nature to come up with such a conclusion, I like to find any occasion to get my freak on.  "Listen to your cat," I have told Scott, "he has a lot of common sense."

Scott just laughs and marvels at the many creative ways I come up with to try and entice him that it's time to make love.  He is a lot more conservative than I, hell, that's a flat out lie, I'm not conservative at all.  I have no problem with discussing, practicing, enjoying, exploring sex in all its forms.  Just so happens that my newest ploy is to implicate his beloved Maverick, to my advantage, of course.

I believe all couples have their own secret language when it comes to letting each other know when they wish to be intimate.  Some are more outspoken than others.  Some more discrete.  Me?  I added a new phrase to an already long list of private communication between me and my partner.  "Listen to your cat!" now has a whole new delicious meaning.

Shorties Unite!

I was born in the beautiful Caribbean island of Puerto Rico, in the mid 1960's, but was raised in New York City, in the 1970's. 

Somehow I have managed to convinced my mind that both places are of equal importance in my heart.  And they are.  I am a loud and proud Newyorkrican.  As I was growing up, it was the Hispanic barrios in Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx and even Long Branch, NJ, that I called home.   Funny thing is, I never noticed a height difference in the people surrounding me; we were all basically of similar physique. 

Imagine my horror, when my family relocated to Florida and I first realized that I was a shorty! 

Hell, here, among the short, I am considered short!

Living in New York was tough.  A vivid memory, which will always stay with me is that, every new kid in school had to prove he was not a punk.  Girls were not immune to this "unwritten" requirement.  Let's just say, my family moved around often and I was the new kid in school a lot.  Lucky or unlucky for me, depending on whether you look at life as a glass half empty or half full, I had seven brothers at home and got plenty of practice in the art of boxing(at least that's what they called it).  I did fairly well surviving these school yard fights.  I could remember losing only one fight, and this girl was tall and lanky. 

I should have taken my first hint there, don't you think?

Attending High School in Florida was not that much different than in New York.  I guess kids are mean everywhere and indiscriminately so.  The bullies tended to underestimate me because of my height and paid the consequences.  One day, I learned about Napoleon Bonaparte.  An insignificant non-commissioned French soldier who rose through the ranks to conquer most of Europe and become Emperor.   Many people surmised he  compensated for his lack of height by seeking power, war and conquest.  Thus, the term Napoleon complex was coined, geared towards vertically challenged individuals who exhibit overly aggressive and cunning characteristics.

In my mind, this guy, Napoleon, was the embodiment of what I perceived as being wrong with the world.  At least, my world.  Short people tend to get picked on.  Short people have no choice but to become aggressive to survive.  To out smart the evil that naturally comes with the accumulation of height.  Heck, its the reason Chihuahuas have developed their instinctively aggressive defense mechanism, they too, are shorties.  Everything makes sense.  Everything is right in the world.

There is only one problem, actually several.  In researching this topic; mind you, I am a conscientious writer, I don't want to mislead anyone nor God forbid, miseducate the masses; I came across information which disputes the validity of this line of thought.   It seems that the well accepted Napoleon complex is nothing more than the combination of confirmation bias alongside bigotry, used to describe an alleged type of inferiority complex which is said to affect some people, especially men, who are short in stature.  The term is also used more generally to describe people who are driven by a perceived handicap or overcompensate in other aspects of their lives. Wikipedia


To add insult to injury, Napoleon, was not short.  He was 5'6, well within the normal height for men in that era and in that part of the world.

The world I thought I knew is shattered.  I can no longer act out, finding comfort in the blanket that the Napoleon complex afforded me once and must cease to accuse the giants around me as instigator conspirators to the blight of my temper. 

I must accept, that if I want height, I must bare the pain of extremely high heeled shoes.  I must accept, that if something falls on the floor, the shortest person is always expected to bend over and pick it up, it's only logical, we are closest to the ground!  I must accept that if I want to reach something in the kitchen cabinet, a step latter is my best friend.

This was suppose to be a battle cry to all shorties around the world to stand up and fight for their rights!!!  Damn you Napoleon!!!  :)

Female Warriors in All Their Glory

Those who know me personally know that I love History. History in any shape or form.  It doesn't matter to me if you want to talk about the History of Baseball, Ancient Civilizations, Modern Philosophy, heck even the commode has it's history.  The origins of the subject matter is what fascinates me.  How did it come about?  Who thought of it first?  What circumstances necessitated such a contraption, political system, mathematical equation, way of life?  That is how my mind works!

I must admit, though, that of the few mentioned subjects above, my absolute favorite is Ancient Civilizations.  This blog will be dedicated to the Amazons.  A nation of all-female warriors in Classical Antiquity and Greek mythology.*  Please indulge me in a summary of these fascinating women and their culture.

Notable queens of the Amazons are Penthesilea, who participated in the Trojan War, and her sister, Hippolyte, whose magical girdle, given to her by her fatherAres, was the object of one of the labours of Hercules.  Meaning, Hercules, was commanded, as part of his many quests to prove his worth to the Gods, to captured Hippolyte's girdle.  Hercules, was not the only mythical entity lured to the magical girdle, in one of the many battles Hippolyte engaged in to protect her girdle, she lost her life to Archilles.

The Amazons have become associated with various historical peoples throughout the Roman Empire period and Late Antiquity.  In Roman historiography, there are various accounts of Amazon raids in Asia Minor.  From early Modern period, their name has become a term for women warriors in general.   The Amazon name is believed to have come from the Iranian language, "ha-mazan" which means warriors.  Another source is a Greek derivation from n-mn-gw-jon-es meaning "manless, without husbands."  Yet another, from Classical Greek comes from the word a-mazos, "without breast"; connected with a tradition that Amazons had their right breast cut off or burnt out so they would be able to use a bow more freely and throw spears without physical limitations or obstruction. Verbatim*-Wikipedia 

It is believed that these women originated from the area which is today known as Turkey.  Some versions of the myth surrounding these women are that no men were permitted to have sexual encounters  or reside in Amazon country, but once a year, to continue their race, they visited a neighboring tribe.  The male children produced by these encounters were either killed, sent back to their fathers or exposed to the wilderness; the females were kept and brought up by their mothers, trained in agriculture, hunting and the act of war.  In other versions, men were captured as a spoil of war and were brought back as slaves.  Then once or twice a year they would have sex with their slaves, thus, procreating the next generation of female warriors.

Although, the history of Amazon women has been tainted by mythology, there is an abundance of evidence to their actual existence.  Today we are aware of this amazing culture due mostly in part to literature, artwork and artifacts discovered throughout the ages.  Amazon tombs could be found in many different areas of what was once known as the ancient Greek world.  Amazonian portraits can be identified in vase paintings by the fact that they are wearing only one earring.  Amazons are accredited with inventing the Battle Axe.

The ultimate female warriors, the Amazons, an ancient culture of strong capable women.  Women who relied not only on their wits but also on their physical strengths.  Women who did battle with men and who won most of those battles.  Women warriors who accomplished the advancement of their culture, in spite of their exclusion of male participation and assistance.  Well, to me, that's just icing on the cake! 

In Retrospect

It is a sad thing to see when one of your children, the one that you have devoted so much love and attention to, suddenly informs you that she has had enough of you and tells you goodbye.  I guess I took a little too long to heal this time. I guess I have taken too long to become successful, rich, thin...the type of mother she would be proud of.

I guess it doesn't matter that I took her side, time and time again, even when I knew she was wrong, just because I wish I had had someone on my side as a child.  For that, I publicly apologize to my sons.  I should have listened to you more and cuddled her less.

I was trying to build a strong independent woman.  A woman who no matter what circumstances she found herself in, would be capable to stand on her own two feet and be the only one who chose what her destiny was going to be.  A woman who didn't need anyone to lift her up and make her soar.  A woman who can count on her wits and charms to make her dreams come true.  Well, I guess, I'm better at what I do than I thought.  My daughter is all those things and more.  I guess in all the lessons I was teaching my precious daughter, in making her so independent that she relied on no one, I forgot to teach her one more; compassion.

Funny thing that such an artistic person, who deals with music, colors, fashion, abstract objects and deals with multi-dimensional individuals on a daily basis, can be so "black and white" in her personal views.   A conservative artist.  That is who she is.  Quite an oxymoron.

All in all, I have no regrets.  I raised her and my other two children with an eye on the future.  I taught them to think for themselves, to be proud of who they are, of their heritage, of their family, to stand up for themselves and not allow others to take advantage of them.  To break the cycle of poverty, abuse and ignorance that I was born into.  And that, I have accomplished.  That, no one can take from them.  Or from me.  Not even her.

Honestly Be Honest

Most people when they think of themselves will include in their list of self serving attributes that of being honest.  But really.  Is the characteristic of being honest a full time attribute?  Should it be?  Is it possible to be honest in all circumstances?  Then there is the very difficult, almost impossible scenario of being honest with oneself.

How many people go around thinking they are living a healthy lifestyle?  Even when they have medical problems that indicate otherwise; high blood pressure, high cholesterol, obesity, diabetes, the list can go on indefinitely.

How about the ones that have addictions? Gambling, shopping (yes ladies, shopping can be an addiction), over eating, nicotine, not to mention hard core addictions, like cocaine, methadone and heroine.  For those poor souls involved in the more serious life altering addictions, they tend to create an alternate universe where their addictions are just part of their everyday lives, therefore, the norm.  Most of the time, it is not until their addictions interfere with their livelihood, that they wake up and smell the coffee.  This is the time that some lucky few seek help.  The more common scenario is that family steps in and forces them to deal with reality.  Honesty is of upmost importance.

Honor (which by the way is the base root of honesty), Love, Commit(ment), Adore, Respect. Incredible how usually the smallest words are the most powerful and the most difficult to accomplish.  These small but significant words are very important to me.  The greatest gift a person can give themselves is to know who they truly are, what they truly expect of themselves and of others.  This can not be accomplished without making an honest inventory of your character, values and hopes for the future.  Yes, the past does influence who you are today, without a doubt, but learn from the  past, don't make it a walking cane that prevents you from running into your future.  Honestly.

The Joys of O

My man dared me to write a blog on a subject that I happen to be pretty knowledgeable of, female sexuality.

Poor dear, can someone hand him a pamphlet on dealing with females?  Rule number one, never dare a woman to do anything, especially a latin woman!  No one stepping up?  No such pamphlet exists?   Oh well, I guess I'll have to write it myself!

Let's begin at the beginning.  At the time of conception, we all start out as females.  It is towards the latter part of gestation period; once the vital organs are formed, heart, brain, liver, kidneys, stomach, and all of our extremities; that the sex genes kick in to determine your gender.  If you are lucky enough to have two X chromosomes, female; one X chromosome and one Y chromosome, male.

The reason I needed to start where I did is to let the men in our lives know that we have more common ground than what separates us.  The fact that your sexual organ is in the exterior of your groin area and ours, by contrast, in the interior, is of very little consequence when it comes to pleasure.  We both deal with the same feelings, insecurities and expectations.

Women's sexual organs have the primary function of procreation.  We all know that.  But of what use would they be without sexual desire?  It is this desire which convinces us to let a male get close enough to impregnate us.

Our differences as human beings of the opposite sex, develops mostly from the environmental aspects of our childhood upbringing.   Were your parents kind and respectful of each other in your presence?  Did they teach you to respect the opposite sex?  Or were the women, or for that matter the men, in your family subjugated to sexual innuendos and harassment?

Believe it or not, these aspects of childhood experiences, have a lot to do in how a person learns to perceive themselves, their bodies and the role that sexual pleasure plays once they become adults.

There have been studies that confirm that men are attracted by what is visually pleasant to them.  Did we really need to spend all that money on such studies?   Well, some guy thought so!!!   On the other hand, women are attracted by more than just appearance.  High on her list is the possibilities of what a good match can bring to the relationship.   Healthy children, financial stability, physical security, compatibility, mutual respect, among other traits, she might feel, will assure a successful union.

Now that that is out of the way, let's get to the good part.  The joys of orgasms.

Let's face it, orgasms are great, but there is more than meets the eye to a truly spectacular out of this world experience.  Women need to feel loved and cherished as part of the equation. Sexual abuse, domestic violence, unreasonable expectations are common impediments to a woman's ability to enjoy intimacy.  There is also the aspect of stimulation.  Women require longer periods of stimulation to climax, than their male counterparts.  Men are fully capable of screwing anything that happens to be in their paths, at any time.  Ok, I'm being a little harsh, just kidding, sweetheart!

My suggestion to all couples, regardless of how new or established your relationship is, be mindful of your partners needs.  Take the time to find out what those needs are and make it your business to be a willing participant. Sexual compatibility is of utmost importance in any healthy relationship.   Don't assume that what attracted you to your partner in the early stages of your courtship, will guarantee instant compatibility in the bedroom.   All hurdles can be overcome with love, patience and understanding.   And last, but not least, for Pete's sake, learn to enjoy each other's company, in and out of the bedroom.

X Y Factor

It's been a long time since I attended Biology in High School, but how many of you remember when they were explaining the properties of the X and Y chromosomes?   I have an interesting theory which I hope is uniquely mine, but who knows, I have been proven wrong, once or twice in my lifetime!!

The X chromosome is one of two sex chromosomes inherited from the parent to its offspring .  Both genders can inherit this chromosome from either parent.  By contrast, the Y chromosome belongs exclusively to the male line.  Meaning only males can pass this gene to their male offspring.

Becoming a female requires two X chromosomes, becoming a male requires one X and one Y chromosome.  Being the eccentric feminist that I am, I have concluded that the Y chromosome is just a variant of an X chromosome.  Meaning, the Y chromosome is deficient in its genetic information.  If you truly look at it, a Y is really an X with a missing "leg", therefore, men have some genetic information missing.  Yes ladies and gentlemen, I am theorizing that women are superior to men! 

We get two perfect XX chromosomes, while males are stuck with only one perfect X chromosome.  If you really think about it, it explains a lot. It explains why they tend to be selfish, egotistical, violent, easily distracted, irresponsible, intolerant to pain and just plain smelly.  Don't get me wrong, I like men well enough, I just happen to think females are fabulous.

I hope with this new found information women will now, once and for all,  come to the conclusion that men will never truly understand them.  A lucky few, will find that rare elusive gem, that will only "go with the flow" in the hopes of living a semi-happy life.  But true understanding of what a woman is all about can only be achieved by another woman. It's in the genes!!!