Our Family's Compass; Juan Pablo "Speedy" Zayas (November 08, 1973 - June 11, 2021)

I am Gladys Echevarria Rivera.  The youngest Maternal Aunt of Juan Pablo "Speedy" Zayas.  I have been given the honor of speaking on behalf of the family, and in doing so, shall give you a glimpse of the wonderful person who we lovingly knew as Speedy.  Thank you for joining us in celebrating his life.

The departure of a loved one is not an easy process to those of us who stay behind.  Specially when it comes so unexpectedly and on the heels of the loss of our beloved Leo, less than a month ago.  Those here are a testimony to the love and strength of our family.  A love and endurance Speedy was so very much a part of.

My first memories of Speedy were of him wailing and waking me up in the middle of the night to change and feed him.  He was around 10 months old and I around 9 years old.  Soon a crib magically appeared for him in my bedroom because the decision was made that he was staying with us for a while.  I did not mind the loss of sleep.  Speedy was my big, greedy baby.  You see, I did not play with dolls.  Speedy and his big brother Cheerios were my real life Cabbage Patch kids.

Speedy was inquisitive about life.  Kind to everyone.  Generous to a fault.  Quick to laugh and say "Oh my Bad" when he crossed a boundary.  If he thought you were holding out on him and needed more information a simple "Holla" did the trick.  And boy could he carry a tune.  Beautiful voice.  He was the one who nicknamed me the "family pitbull."  A label I proudly accepted because I understood he was giving me a compliment.  When I caught COVID last year, he stepped up and made sure I was taken care of.  He didn't have to do that, but that is who he was.  I made sure he knew how grateful I was and he simply brushed it away telling me it was nothing. 

Speedy did not have an easy life.  He was plagued by muscle dystrophy in his legs since birth.  A condition which causes constant pain and difficulty in walking.  Yet, I have never met a more hard working person in my life.  Or ever heard him complain.  On the contrary, he always put others first.  In a cruel twist of fate, and at an early age, he was abruptly separated from those he loved the most.   Perhaps that was the pivotal moment which burned in him the desire to become a great father.  Speedy dedicated himself completely to his family.  Playing the part of the devoted husband and family man as only he could.  I hope Dario, Lyonna and Destiny know that they were deeply and unconditionally loved by their father.  Look around, this family is your father's labor of love.  We are here willing to stand with you in this difficult time.  

My last memories of him will be of us spending a weekend in Kissimmee, FL, just a few weeks ago.  He was my Sous Chef as I prepared a Paella.  As he chopped up the peppers and onions, we caught up on family gossip.  Before dinner, we swam in the pool and I introduced him to Merlot.  He was impressed and promised to give it chance.  But that lasted about 10 minutes.  Soon after he poured himself a rum and coke.   When my fiancé told Speedy his favorite Italian dish was Chicken Parmesan, he made us promise to come by for lunch before heading back home to Jacksonville the next day.  To quote Dave's words, "That was the best Chicken Parmesan I ever had."  For those who did not know, Speedy was a sought-after Chef for many years at various Italian Restaurants throughout South Beach.  

I would like read out some anonymous quotes and memories from those who knew him best:  

He accepted me as I was regardless of what stage in my life I was.  He always asked me, "Are you happy?  Yes?  Then I am good."

Always gave good advice.  "Go for what you want." He always reminded people of what they had.  Of their blessings.

His laugh.  Big and Loud.  Lite up a room.  He was a silly goose. Biggest Heart.

Silence.  Grief would not allow some to say anything.  And kept their memories to themselves.  And that is okay.  Your silence speaks volumes.

Selfless and Kind.  We would battle it out in the kitchen.  But his Italian dishes were untouchable.  I will miss us cooking together.

Speedy was the biggest gift I could have given my mother.   Since the age of 2 months, he was in her home more often then not.  When asked who nicknamed him Speedy, Marilyn stated that she did after the cartoon character Speedy Gonzalez.  (This one I could not keep anonymous since pretty much anyone can figure out who Speedy's mom is).

He had the greatest smile.  Kind.  My right hand man.  When it came to man to man issues, he was my confidant. 

Speedy was a great motivator.  Had high expectations of himself and others.  Always looked at things from a positive perspective.  You could see the love he projected unto others.

Speedy always believed in family and loved hard.  The goodness in him didn't like to see people struggle or hurt.  He was that guy who was a friend to many girls and most girls fell for him because he was a good listener.  He was compassionate and forgave those who did him wrong.  He didn't hold grudges and despite the pain he felt physically and emotionally he always put other people before himself.  He was an Empath.

He was a take his shirt of his back kind of guy.  Thoughtful.  I remember him as an infant laying on his back after surgery on his legs.  Doctors stated he would never walk again but his perseverance and big heart allowed him to push through life and overcome his disability.  Speedy to me was more than just a nephew.  He was a friend, someone you can count on, someone to talk to, a great father to his children and my little brother.  

In looking for a text through my phone a couple of days ago, I found the last text Speedy and I shared.  It was dated June 1, of this year.  I sent him a Christian song I had just listened to and I knew it would speak to him, as it did to me.  It talks about pain and suffering being almost gone because we are almost home.  

I would like to leave you with this Bible verse  before playing the song:

Ecclesiastes 3: 1-11

 1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven;

 2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

 3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up,

 4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

 5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

 6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

 7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

 8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

 9 What profit hath he that worketh in that wherein he laboureth? 

10 I have seen the travail, which God hath given to the sons of men to be exercised in it.

11. He hath made every thing beautiful in his time; also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.

Please listen to this beautiful song, Almost Home by MercyMe and let it's lyrics comfort you.

Love you and miss you Baby Boy!!!

Titi G.

I Hope You Went Home

Dedicated to:  Marisel Zayas

I hope you went home Brother

And left nothing undone

All quarrels and sorrows behind you

Gladness only those things sought.

I hope you went home Brother

And met with Mom and your Dad

Hey and even mine.

And Nano and Lillian 

and Victor please find.

I hope you went home Brother

And bathe in salvation’s light

And slowly remember how it felt

To breathe without bind.

I hope you went home Brother

And are patiently waiting for us, the rest

Your wait shall be peaceful

Not like the battle you met.

But do know big Brother

That a lesson you taught

Because in enduring such pain

a soldier was forged.

So don’t dilly daddle

In awe of the clouds

And enter sweet heaven

And receive your crown.

Edwin Zayas Rivera

04/05/1955 - 12/11/2020. RIP

Start Walking Together

In one of our many conversations, which by the way I adore, you asked, "How do I take care of a woman?"  The feminist in me wanted to scream "There is no need, women can take care of themselves!" but the sensible woman in search of love connected with your concern.  This simple and otherwise unassuming question touched my heart and inspired me to write this open letter to you.  The question encapsulates the role that you wish to play in my life.  That of protector and provider.  A very masculine characteristic.  And I get that.  I will attempt to answer your question, the best way I know how.   I will try to paint you a landscape with gentle paths in the hopes that it may lead us into peaceful and loving destinations.  I chose to pour my heart out to you in words.  As we start walking together in this heartfelt journey.

I don't mind questions.  It shows that you are interested in knowing me.  I detest when people assume they know you without taking the time to get to know who you actually are.  In skipping the process of courting, the assessment made is based more on conclusions arrived with a past experience, rather than the person in front of you.  And that is not fair to anyone.  We should be seeking and looking forward to so many first encounters tailored specifically to us.

And with that in mind, I want you to know that I asked God for three specific attributes in my future husband:

1. That he be God fearing.  A God fearing man knows the meaning of true love.  God has specific instructions when it comes to how a man is to treat his mate.  He is to love, honor, respect and protect his wife.  I want all of those.

2. That he be kind.  Kindness involves so much more than just the act of being kind.  It involves patience and selflessness and devotion.

3. And that he be of a Generous Spirit.  Generous of his Time.  Generous with his Laughter and his Affection.

I believe that a man should be present.  Present in the moment, in mind and heart.  Available when I need to run something by him.  Not because I lack the skill to make a decision, but because I value his input.  Opinions are like little windows that allow a peek into the heart and speaks volumes about one's character.  Which in turn allows me to better assess intentions.

I believe women should express themselves freely and openly so that each partner understands what the other expects in a relationship.  Communication between the sexes is so important and smooths the way into a harmonious existence.   Men need to know that they are enough.  Women that they are safe.

As a general practice, include me in your everyday.  Make me feel that I am part of your world and your life.  Let me know that you are thinking of me, in little ways.  In subtle ways.  I, in turn, will do the same.  Perhaps you have come to the conclusion, as I have, that this walking together is a job for the both of us.  And in seeking to understand how to take care of your woman, you are assuring the happiness of the one who will gladly care for you.

For Dave

The Empanada Club

So, I have become just a little bit famous in my corner of the world for making beef empanadas.  My friends love them.  Whether they are co-workers or regular everyday friends.  They love my empanadas.  Empanadas are dough discs filled with just about anything you want to put in them.  Beef, chicken or pork.  Heck, it doesn't have to be meat at all.  You can turn an empanada into a pastry by simply substituting your savory meats with guava and cream cheese.  Yum!!!   When ready,  place your filling in the middle, fold it, seal it and wala!!!   They can be deep fried, baked or utilize an air fryer.  You have something so delicious, yet so simple!!!  But don't tell anyone!!!  It's our little secret!!!

On Tuesday, I happen to mention to my small circle of dear girl friends that I was making empanadas the next day and that bit of information turned into an impromptu get together.  They came over, we joked and laughed.  There was wine and we let our hair down.  I love this particular group of women.  The youngest in her late 30's the oldest in her sixties, yet we all find common ground when we get together.  I don't know what it is and it really doesn't matter.  The only thing that does matter is that we enjoy and uplift each other.  There is respect and safety among us.  Respect for who we are and the validation of our feelings; no matter how mundane we might perceive our feelings to be.  Safety in knowing that what is discussed and shared will remain confidential; and more importantly not minimized or belittled.  That is so important in cultivating trust.

I made hummus, which was a big hit.  Spicy of course!!!  And a dilemma arose when the garbanzo beans had a tough outer shell which needed to be peeled.  The atmosphere was as if we were back to a time when women would divide the work and make great things happen, like sow a quilt or weave a rug.  Those were times when women gathered happily and bonded.  I told Nell that the outer shell was a called a cousin.  She thought that was actually a thing.  We busted out laughing when the gig was up and Sherry, mischievous Sherry, started calling the garbanzo shells primos (Spanish for cousin)!!!  You just had to be there!!! 

Later, much later, Erica showed up and simply fell in love with Nico.  Oh, wait, I didn't tell you about Nico.  Well, earlier in the day, I was on my way to a doctors' appointment and was stopped at a red light and this itty bitty white fluff of a dog was dodging under the cars in front of me.  Fortunately, I had not had time to eat my breakfast that morning so I took it with me.  Well, Nico ended up eating my breakfast.  That was what I used to entice him to come to me and eventually into the car.  I am now the proud owner of an unknown breed of an itty bitty white fluff of a dog named Nico!!  Now, back to Erica, she fell in love with my doggie.   She calls him, her doggie.  It's so cute really.  I have a feeling Nico has three instant aunties on duty.

Some how while stuffing ourselves with empanadas and the chatter and the laughter and the dog running around; we decided to call ourselves The Empanada Club.  I was inspired to put to ink our adventures and to officially inform the world that there is such a thing as a sisterhood, women who share no other bond but the appreciation of joyful moments spent in each other's company and that, ladies and gentlemen, is more than enough for us.  Well done empanaditas.  Well done.

Check Mate

I understand giving God His due 
and putting Him first, in all that you do.
And Mama can not be forgotten,
I would never dream of demanding for me,
your precious time with her.

Brothers and cousins, have always been there.
My entrance into your picture has only seconds,
in the gran scheme, if measured.
Understandably, I patiently wait, to see if you dare.
And conclude, I am last in your pile full of cares.

You worry and fret and live in the past.
Claiming not to have felt God in a while.
Not once giving value to the blessings before you.
While you move me further down
on your list of insignificance.
The familiarity of dread seeping into my soul
is my trumpet and wake up call.

Take a deep breath.
You over played your hand.
God got this.

The Making of Doña Gladys

Some might wonder why I chose the title of this blog, and perhaps concluded, erroneously, that it is some adulation of humble me.  But no, it has more to do with the title Don than with me, I promise.  Stick around and I will be happy to indulge your curiosity.  

With the invention of film in 1890 by Thomas Edison and television in 1927 by Philo Taylor Fansworth; our American culture as been bombarded with cinema.  For some of us it has been a window into how other people behave and solve their problems.  It would not surprise me at all if in hearing the term Don the first inclination for most of us is to think of Don Corlene of The Godfather; or Don Quixote de la Mancha of literary fame.  But no, my pretties, Don has a rich history that resounds in the medieval halls of Spain and her Mediterranean contemporaries.

Originally, the title Don was reserved only for God, Jesus Christ and the saints.  Later, the Spanish medieval monarchy applied it to kings,  high nobles and archbishops.   Dueño or in the feminine Dueña has Latin origins, from the word "dominus" meaning "Lord of the house."  Which is why if you have had the joy of watching one our "Novelas" (Soap Operas) on TeleMundo (now, now, there is no shame, we know Americans are hooked on them too), you will notice that the stern. middle aged, handsome man who is revered by all in the ranch is addressed as "Don Emilio" or "Don Juan."  That reverence comes from the fact that he is a Landowner, a "jefe" (boss), and therefore, a decorum of respect is strictly followed.

Presently, in Spain, for example, the use has been gradually limited to writings, teachers and catholic priests.  Don is more commonly used in the south of Italy and Latin America.   Latin America is comprised of many uniquely and diverse countries.  In some areas, Don is used for someone that has gain respect throughout their community.  In others, only for those who have reached an advanced age.   In a different aspect, "The treatment of Don or Doña is used for persons of Hispanic heritage, either by birth or marriage."*  Meaning, when a woman marries she can gain or lose the use of her title.   Also, Don is more commonly used in Hispanic regions when a person reaches legal age or is married.  And in differentiating a person in a higher position in the workplace.

I started this blog believing that the term Don or Doña was strictly used as a connotation to being a landowner.  An easily arrived conclusion since dueño in Spanish means owner.  But in researching the term, I found that in the 1600's it was also used for those who achieved a great feat,  or were counts or countesses,  or were bishops or cardinals,  or of military rank; and later evolved it's usage to those whom had children, or got a diploma, or reached an advanced age.  My telenovela notion of being a Doña is shattered.  Because according to it's discovered uses, I have been Doña Gladys for quite sometime now. Thanks TeleMundo!!!!  


 *Wikipedia - Don (tratamiento) {Spanish} Last edited August 2, 2019.

So Grateful Indeed

I went and bought a house.

Believe me I am no Crouse .

So I put in the paper

and wrote out the letter.

And jolly was I with no spouse.

I emailed my friends

and gave them the news

and told them a Garden

I wanted to harvest.

So happy were they

To check out the place

That Connexion was called post haste.

From my Little Brother so dear and so kind.

A Lawnmower.  To keep my Backyard in line.

So grateful indeed.

One friend brought a pottery of grey.

So pretty and fair.

All the way from St. Augustine.

So grateful indeed.

From another friend I got a beautiful

handmade herb box.  And green pepper plant.

She is so special.  She knows who she is.

So grateful indeed.

A sweet friend gave me a presentation.

Rice, so that I never go hungry.

Wine, so that I will always be happy.

And money, so that it will abound.

So grateful indeed.

My Sister has a knack for knitting.

And knitting she did do.

For in the mail, I found box.

A set of knitted covers for my

down stairs loo.

So grateful indeed.

And Soil, so much Soil, that I will wallow 

in Dirt for a while.

Thank you Dear Sir and your Adorable Wife.

So grateful indeed.

My Eldest Brother endeared me with a 

Bush.  Which is planted in the front yard.

With the promise of standing guard.

So grateful indeed.

From Lowe's I got a rake, a water hose 

and a plant bracket.

That plant bracket holds a beautiful

angelic sounding chime in the back yard.

Two lovely Ladies made this happen.

So grateful indeed.

To Target I ran and bought a Hair Dryer.

What would I do with that in a Garden?

Gardening is hard work.  Eventually grooming. 

So grateful indeed.

My crew of three from STA.

Began what has turned out to be 

the landscaping to the entrance.

With plants from their own garden

and tools to tender them with.

So grateful indeed.

A sign that says "Friends Gather Here"

It's both beautiful and telling.

Along with Mint and Aloe Vera.

And pots of all sizes.

So grateful indeed.

Karaoke mischief filled the air.

And Augi ran around happily

Being pampered by all

So grateful indeed.

Another decided to take me shopping.

A beautiful metal side table I did get.

Along with a wine holder for six bottles

Merlot would be a sure bet.

And baskets.  I love baskets!!!

So grateful indeed.

And just when I thought that my party was

complete, a beautiful couple shows up with a 

latter of all things!!!  I wonder how they knew? :)

So grateful indeed.

I truly feel very blessed to have you all for family and friends.  What I am most grateful for is that on that Saturday, this structure, which started out as house, with the laughter and the joy, became a home.

Thank you.