Remembering Mama

Dedicated To Queen Bee

Antonia Rivera Martinez (July 16, 1935-November 2, 2014)

Today is Mother's Day.  And what better way to honor all us mothers than to honor our own mother. That one constant in our lives, whether she is here, or far, or not with us at all.  It really doesn't lessen her influence.  If you are truly sincere with yourself, if you examen the reason why you think the way you do, why you feel the way you do, why you solve certain problems the way you do; the answer lies in a sneaky, intelligent, wonderful woman behind all that creativity, your own Mother.

Everyday, I think of Mama.  There is no getting around it, there is no denying it, so why bother.  I see children in their wonderful ways and I think of Mama and how she would gush at them.  And find a way to interact.  Mama was wickedly wise.  She was never book smart, but she was street smart.  She was the type that saw a difficult situation and somehow figured out a way to make it tolerable, manageable.  And helped us all get through it.

I say this all the time, but perhaps some have not heard it, I learned unconditional love from my mother.  I learned that no matter what, family comes first.  That no matter how little food there is in cabinets, you always make a little more just in case someone shows up.  And no matter how crowded the house was (with 11 children in the house, I am pretty sure that bunk beds were invented with us in mind), there was always room for one more.  And no one was turned away.  That is the kind of love our mother taught me.

Was she perfect? Not even close.  But people are not meant to be perfect.  And when your hero makes mistakes, it can have devastating effects.  But then you grow up.  And you realize that sometimes things were just a little bit different than what your 6, 8 or 11 year old mind remembers.  And something inside your heart falls into place.  And you realize the sacrifices, and the strength and the gall she had.  And you breath.  And you smile.  And your hero materializes again.

Do I have regrets?  Yes. There is always the notion of thinking how you could have called more, or visited more or paid closer attention.  Missed opportunities.  Never to come again.  And all one can do is pick up the phone.  And call more often.  And make that plane reservation and visit more often. And hear the little children and pay closer attention.  Because the legacy we leave behind is not material; it is love, and kindness, and guidance, and good advice.

This is to all the strong, beautiful, determined, creative, stubborn women in my family.  We all make Mama proud.  God Bless you all.

Happy Mother's Day!!!

How to Survive Men and Sports

Ladies, what do you do when the most important men in your life are MIA (Missing In Action), not due to any military operation gone wrong but by the commencement of Major League training schedules, NFL drafting speculations, NBA trade offs or even, God forbid, college bound fresh faced high schoolers who show some talent with a ball?   This has been the thorn on the side of many relationships since the beginning of dawn when a bored caveman started kicking a rock around while his mate was busy making a cauldron full of supper.

That's the time when us females need to make some decisions.  We either get with the program, learn the lingo, the stats and the game and sit and relish in the competition that is big time sports.  Or we gracefully, prepare the field for our loved ones, making sure they have all supplies necessary that will allow them to vegetate in front of a television for hours at a time and forgo life as we know it.

I have had the luxury of being able to go either way.  I was raised in a household of seven boys, so the idea of spending time watching, discussing or playing any sport is second nature to me.  So, I can either engage or disengage and find some other activity more fitting to the mood I happen to be in.   Which in my world makes me pretty flexible and an interesting creature, if you asked me.   If you asked my boyfriend Scott, he would probably just say, I'm complicated.  And that's ok too. 

So, my advice to women who do not find sports appealing or even remotely interesting, embrace your choices.  But do know that you have choices.  Plan a girls' night out.  Start reading an interesting book.  Hell, call your mother, you know its been a long time.  There are plenty of ways to survive the abandonment that is the losing of our men to that evil institution called the sports media world!!!